


Basement

by spookyscaryskeletons (Buttons15)



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 05:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20187214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttons15/pseuds/spookyscaryskeletons
Summary: "There it was. The answer she knew she’d have to give eventually, even though she couldn’t predict the question that would demand it. Catra flicked her ears. Above them, soldiers yelled a war cry. They were endless, Prime’s horde. They were endless and marching on them and they were going to die and it was all her fault.She supposed she owed it to Adora a bit of honesty. That, or she was too selfish to hide that truth any longer, for fear it would devour her. “That’s because I was in love with you.” "in which the girls get stuck on a basement and are forced to have a goddamn conversation, for real





	Basement

**Author's Note:**

> i remain unknowing about what the hell is a greyskull

The ground shook as Prime’s armies marched over them, loud enough to make Catra cover her ears. Her teeth rattled with the vibration caused by the sheer number of soldiers. Little specks of dust floated down from the ceiling of the basement. Catra felt a sneeze coming and bit her lip to stop it, but then she realized that with the noise above, hearing it would be impossible, so she let her lungs blow the air out.

“You okay over there?”

And of course, trapped down there with her, in that tiny basement which barely had room for one, let alone two, there she was. Adora. The beginning and the end of all her problems. Catra could think of a thousand snappy ways to answer, but she was just _so tired_. “I’m fine.”

Silence. Or, well, silence between them. The soldiers were as loud as ever, banging their spears on the ground as they moved. They were screwed. They were going to die, if not in that moment then soon enough, and Catra could feel the weariness seeping into her very bones, the fruits of a lifelong struggle.

She was tired.

“I had a plan,” she looked up, pressing the top of her head against the wall. The specks of dust were barely visible even with her night vision. It briefly crossed her mind that to Adora, this would be complete darkness.

“I’m all ears.”

Catra turned to her, trying to extract something, anything from her expression. But it was blank, unusual for someone as expressive as Adora. Or the Adora she knew, at least. They’d both changed a lot. “You were always shit at planning, you know? I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that. Maybe it was –” she cut herself short, swallowed a thought as bitter as bile, “ –immaturity. I don’t know. Used to think you’re perfect, but you’re sort of a shitty strategist. Ironic. If I’d seen that sooner, we wouldn’t be in such a pinch.”

Adora didn’t reply, but Catra heard her shift. She sighed. “I suppose this is my fault, isn’t it? You do have your share of blame, but at this point I think I’ve overdone the retribution by far.”

“I was wrong about you too,” Adora’s tone was emotionless. “Never saw you as the type to hold a grudge.”

“I’m not, not really.” Catra pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. “I wasn’t holding on to it. It just kept delivering new cuts from every side. Hard to heal from a wound when people around you keep rubbing salt on it.” She shrugged. “Eh. They really did a number on us, didn’t they, princess? We’re fucked up.”

Adora snorted. Catra twitched her tail back and forth rhythmically. The movement was oddly soothing. “Do you think this was on purpose?”

Catra considered the question. “Definitely. They raised us to be one another’s kill switches. It’s no wonder we balance each other so well. Your improvising and my planning. Your brute strength and my speed. Your heart and my…” Catra scoffed. “Whatever I got in my chest.”

“Ruthlessness,” Adora turned to her for the first time since they found themselves stuck in the basement. “My heart and your ruthlessness. My compassion and your toughness. Every time you took the fall for me, even though I didn’t mean it to happen. Taught me to stand up for others. Taught you to endure. One could not exist without the other.”

“Hey, maybe the two of us together could make one functional fucking person.”

Adora snickered, and though it was barely a laugh it still brought a bloom of warmth to Catra’s chest and a twitch to her ears.

“We were really there for each other, yeah? You were always there to catch me when I fell. I think part of the reason I struggled so much to be She-Ra is that I lacked that.” Catra heard her sigh. “And I know – I know this sounds like I just want a sidekick, but I was there for you too. I remember I’d tend to your bruises – _holy shit,_” Adora raised her voice at the last words.

“Shh!”

“Sorry,” she whispered. “Holy shit. Catra. The bruises. They got really physical with you, didn’t they? Shadow Weaver, the guards, even the other soldiers. They beat you up.”

“That would be how I acquired bruises, yes.”

“And then – and then –” it was too dark to see, but Catra could picture exactly the face Adora made when she was thinking really hard. “When I first escaped and I saw everything the Horde had done, you were so… unfrazzled by it. And I kept wondering how did you _know_, how did you know what they were capable of when we’d lived together and you’d never sneak out without me. But that wasn’t it at all, was it? It was you. You didn’t know because you’d seen it. You knew because they hurt _you. _Fuck.”

“Fuck,” Catra echoed, bitter. There was a twinge of anger inside her, but the spark was devoured by a dark pit of exhaustion. “So glad it took you a sexcapade with the locals to realize the people beating me within an inch of my life were not in fact good people. That didn’t make me feel worthless at all.”

“I’m –”

“Don’t!” Catra hissed. “Don’t apologize. It makes me angrier.”

A pause. “How can I make it better?”

“You can’t,” she twitched her tail faster. The thundering sound of boots took over the basement. The silence between them was suffocating. “Actually, you can. Just keep talking. The more you talk, the more I can convince myself of your complete mental ineptitude, which is oddly soothing. It allows me to transfer the anger from you to myself.”

“I’m… not sure that’s what I’m going for.”

“Trust me, it is.” She stretched her legs. “You’re stupid. You’re so fucking stupid. You’re a moron, and I was an idiot for not seeing that, and I only have myself to blame for this whole sordid affair for not noticing that you were _so fucking dumb. _You were cognitively unable of putting two and two together. That’s best-case scenario.” She grit her teeth. “Worst case scenario? You’re a liar and a manipulator that would put Shadow Weaver to shame, and you never gave a shit.”

“I’m –”

“If you say sorry I am going to claw your eyeballs off. I’m not kidding. I can see in the dark.”

Adora sighed. Catra could _see_ her struggling, and curse her traitorous heart, it ached. “What was your plan?”

“Huh?”

“You said you had a plan. You usually did.” Catra felt fingers brush against hers. “You were always the girl with a plan. And you said… you said soon enough we’d be on top, didn’t you?”

“Oh, that plan. You mean the one I’d been meticulously working on ever since I was, hmm, maybe five,” the spark of anger grew into a flame that burned at her stomach. “The one where I put all the information I’d collected on Shadow Weaver and Hordark to use, and we took over the Horde together, and maybe, just maybe, hear this out, Adora, maybe we used that power to _negotiate peace!_”

It was a struggle to keep her voice down. Adora visibly flinched. Catra’s claws had unsheathed themselves and she made the conscious effort of putting them back in. “And to think. To think I almost pulled it off without you. I’m proud of myself for that, you know? Damn. I’m efficient. I get shit done. Got Shadow Weaver out of the picture and I was this close to taking down Hordark, too.” Catra felt the lump of tears form in her throat and swallowed. “My mistake was not accounting for your fickleness and your impatience. My mistake was ever counting on you.”

“I’m sorry,” Adora whispered, and this time Catra allowed, if only because her anger consumed itself and left a terrifying hollowness inside her chest.

“I’m sorry, too.” She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry I took you for granted, Adora. And I’m sorry for… all the fucked up things I did out of anger. I know sorry isn’t worth shit, but well, I am.”

“It doesn’t fix things, but I’m glad you said it anyway.”

“I’m –” she felt tears roll from her eyes without permission. She choked back a sob, but it came out regardless. “You’re right, though. I messed up, and now I get to live with it. You’re always right. Morally, anyway. I’m bad at this. Used you as a moral compass because mine is all twisted up. I needed you so much more than you ever needed me, and that hurt.”

Silence again, but this time it felt less oppressive. Catra suppressed a twinge of fear in her gut and reached out, taking Adora’s hand in hers. Adora responded with a squeeze. “Do you ever wish you’d come with me?”

_Every single day of my life,_ her heart responded, but Catra wasn’t all heart. She rubbed her thumb on Adora’s knuckles. “Nah. Wouldn’t fit in with the rebels, serving princesses. You know me. I’m either at the top, or striving to be there. Do you ever wish you’d come back?”

She gave Adora time to think of an answer. “No. Even now, knowing you had a plan all along, I don’t think I’d be able to stomach it. The sacrifices – I couldn’t do it. Never could. I suppose that makes me a bad leader.”

Catra shrugged. “A little. We all have our faults. I’m glad you didn’t return, deep down. My long term plan _would_ have cost a lot of lives, and… I’m glad you were never forced to make those decisions. It was _my_ plan, and I never… never considered how it would affect you as more than a pawn in it.”

The admission made her breathless, but Adora squeezed her hand in reassurance. “We both messed up. You messed up worse, though.”

“Because I’m _efficient!” _she retorted, giggling at the absurdity of it. “I get things done!”

Adora interlaced their fingers, and Catra moved closer so their shoulders bumped. It felt right – like everything in the world would fall back to place. She felt the crushing weight on her chest lift. She felt she could finally breathe again. “I have a question.”

“Oh boy,” Catra sassed with no real bite. “Go on, genius.”

“You said you are always striving for the top. But when we went through the portal… to the perfect world. I was commander then, not you. And you were happy.”

There it was. The answer she knew she’d have to give eventually, even though she couldn’t predict the question that would demand it. Catra flicked her ears. Above them, soldiers yelled a war cry. They were endless, Prime’s horde. They were endless and marching on them and they were going to die and it was all her fault.

She supposed she owed it to Adora a bit of honesty. That, or she was too selfish to hide that truth any longer, for fear it would devour her. “That’s because I was in love with you.”

“Oh.” The steady _thump-thump-thump_ of the soldiers above seemed to match the beating of Catra’s heart. “Was?”

_Damn it, Adora._

She kept her tone as nonchalant as possible. “I don’t think those feelings ever truly go away. But there’s no future here. I blew it.”

“Catra –”

“Don’t!” She stiffened. “Adora, for once, think before you speak. You’re a hero. I’m a monster. Your friends hate me. I’m directly responsible for the death of one of their mothers. Like it or not, the truth is we just don’t have space for each other in our lives anymore. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

To her credit, Adora closed her mouth and stood still for a long while. “You’re right.”

Hearing it still shattered Catra to pieces, and this time she didn’t even try to be quiet about her crying, loud enough that she half expected the soldiers above to hear her. And then Adora pulled her closer, wrapped an arm around her and held her tight. Catra pressed her face to Adora’s shoulder, shaking and sobbing until her nose was stuffy. She was right, but it didn’t feel good at all.

And then Adora moved again, straddling her and holding her face, thumb stroking against Catra’s jaw in a way that made her shiver. Catra hated her then, for giving her a taste of the love she didn’t deserve, of something she could never keep. And then their eyes met, and even in the dark Catra could see Adora’s gaze, all wide eyes, searching, filled with hope and distress and something dangerous she couldn’t quite name.

She wore her heart on her sleeve, always had. “Adora –”

“Shh.” She leaned in, pressed their foreheads together. “You’re right about my friends, and our lives and – and everything.”

“I don’t want to be,” she murmured, Adora’s fingers behind her ear making her breath hitch and her hairs stand on end. “You can be right this time. You can be right as many times you want, Adora, _please – ”_

Adora flinched then, making Catra feel sure she’d blown it again, and then that dangerous glint was back to her eyes and her lips curled into a smirk that was almost malicious. “They’re not here though. Right now it’s just the two of us and I –” She leaned forward. Catra hesitated, but Adora’s fingers snuck to her nape and made her shiver. “Stop thinking and improvise,” Adora whispered.

Catra leaned forward. When their lips met, it felt like electricity coursing through her body, sending jolts down her spine. A deep sound came off her throat when Adora bit into her lip, making Catra arch her body and bring them closer.

“Fuck but it feels right,” she groaned when they broke apart, then looked away. “We’re not good for each other, though.”

Adora sighed, sliding her hand back into Catra’s. “We really aren’t.”

“Scorpia likes me, you know, but I’m no good for her either.” She took a moment to think. “I’m not good for anyone, because I’m just… not a good person.”

“Then be better,” Adora said it as if it were a simple task, as if she could just flip on a switch and grow magically taller and become a good person. _This isn’t fair_, she cut that line of thought at the root before it could grow into something bitter. Adora squeezed her hand. “Try, Catra, please. I know you can do it, there’s nothing you can’t do, you’re – you.”

She felt warmth seep from her fingertips where their skin touched all the way to her heart. She teared up again. “I’m gonna,” her voice broke. “I’m gonna, I’ll be better, but not without you, please, Adora, don’t leave me again, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry –”

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” She pressed her lips to Catra’s again, briefly this time, warm and gentle and all the good things she represented. “We’ll figure this out together. We’re an invincible team, remember? I’ll be the heart and you’ll be the brain and it’s all going to work out in the end. We’ll figure it out,” she briefly looked up, “Starting with this mess.”

“You’re always so sure. So confident, I can’t help but believe you.” Adora rolled off her and Catra rested her head on Adora’s shoulder.

Adora punched her on the waist. “Well don’t just believe it, make it happen! We’re gonna need a plan for this.”

“And improvisation.”

“_And_ improvisation, and a truckload of luck, and some heavily armed allies, and then some more luck. We’re screwed. But at least we’re together.”

Catra stared at their joined hands, toying with Adora’s fingers. The silence between them had turned comfortable and, she realized, absolute. “Hey, I think… I think the endless army is done walking over our heads.” She twitched her ears, frowning, focusing on her hearing. “There’s one… two of them that I can still hear. We should be able to sneak out.”

“Do you have a plan?”

“You take one, I take the other, which is quite straightforward as far as plans made in a cellar using exclusively my ears go. More of them come, we run. Fast. _Really _fast. And, um. Make things up as we go?”

Adora smiled, but didn’t let go of her hand. “Sounds perfect. Let’s get out of here. Not all of us can see in the dark and this room is spooky.”

_Tell her,_ something screamed from the back of her mind. _While things are well. It might be your last chance. Tell her. _

It took a while to gather her courage. It seemed to slip from between her fingers with every step she took up the ladder. Finally, when she reached the top, she pressed her hand on the exit and hesitated.

She didn’t look down.

“I love you,” Catra said, and pushed the trapdoor open into an unknown future without waiting for an answer. 

**Author's Note:**

> yo I innocently started watching this cartoon and I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS PAIN
> 
> (but I love it)
> 
> am I living or am I just fandom hopping after lesbians
> 
> i support catra and i will always support catra even though she fucked up, solely because no matter how many bad things she does, NOTHING in this world holds the raw chaotic evil energy of that one episode where Adora was trying and failing to make a plan
> 
> I am a simple woman who likes plans, schedules and spreadsheets and I profoundly empathize with catra's struggle at liking someone who cannot for the life of it come up with good strategy
> 
> catra my girl i'm so sorry your dumbass girlfriend has no foresight


End file.
